Bow down to your deity, puny mortals. It’s nice to know I’m not an irrational freak and that the bad feeling when I gorge myself with chocolate1 is not me worrying about getting fat even though it seems all but impossible for me2, it’s actually Fat Satan trying in vain to steal my soul.
I’ve had trouble with this whole looking after yourself without feeling guilty thing- mainly because feeling guilty is like, a favourite passtime of mine or something- but the idea of dark obesity deities is strangely comforting even beyond the feeling of “yay, parody!”. I’m thinking Fat Satan is going to enter my everyday vocabulary. 😉
1This happens approximately 100% of the time that I buy quantities of chocolate that exceed the size of the average “candy bar”, to wax American.
2I have an astoundingly inefficient metabolism, and the only time I ever noticably gained weight was when I was on a student exchange to Germany. Coming back and not fitting my tight jeans was a surprise. Fat Satan will have to make do with conquering the Americas for now.