Comments Policy

Currently, this blog is set to hold up your first post in moderation, basically to determine that you’re human, although highly offensive first posts might mean you don’t get approved. You may also get pulled into the spam filter if you post links- if your second/third/whatever post doesn’t show up within five minutes, make another one without links and I’ll fish your original one out of the spam filter.

This blog is a personal place. It is only public in the sense that I leave you an open invitation to read no matter who you are, and I’m willing to give you a chance at commenting. You are invited in like you would be invited into someone’s home, because I want people to read what I have to say, and because I want people to give me feedback on my thoughts and opinions. That said, it’s not an “echo chamber” either. You are welcome to have a different opinion than me if you follow the rules. In return, I’ll try to be appropriately lenient in situations where you could reasonably be expected to be unaware of what you were doing.

This is also a safe space. That means that while I respect your right to freely speak about how much of a discriminatory wank you are, (or how you’re really not a discriminatory wank, it’s all just a misunderstanding) I expect you to go make your own blog if you want to speak about that sort of stuff.

I welcome you to:

  • Share opinions broadly related to the post you’re commenting on.
  • Agree with a post while remaining respectful to anyone who disagrees.
  • Disagree with a post respectfully.
  • Share personal stories relating to something I’ve written.
  • Mention something I’ve left out, or something that could do with further expansion or clarification.
  • Post when you are newly aware of your own privilege, so long as you take care to say so.
  • Use any language you like, so long as it isn’t discriminatory or a dogwhistle.1

I will censor you, or ban you, at my own discretion, if you do the following:

  • Try to post hate speech.
  • Try to “sockpuppet” by posting with different or throwaway emails.
  • “Troll”, or make posts seeking to fool others or provoke an emotional reaction.
  • Try to be extremely sarcastic before you’ve properly established what you really believe. Sarcasm needs to be used with great care on the web, and there are plenty of people who try to disguise hate speech as sarcasm. (Yes, I can usually tell the difference, but please introduce yourself and post some positive things before turning on the sarcasm anyway)
  • Try to silence, dismiss, or harass me or any other poster that supports feminism, gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/queer rights, or nonbinary gender.
  • Troll about “concern” for men/pakeha/straight/gender-normative people, whether you’re aware you’re trolling or not.2
  • Try to devalue or cast doubt on someone’s personal experiences. If I trust someone enough to let them comment here, I trust them to be honest about their experience until such point as they catch themselves in a contradiction.
  • Try to flood a post or the whole blog with statistics, information, or emotive arguments that don’t try to establish their own factuality or justification.
  • Try to drown out the voices of women, Maori, Asians, immigrants, LGBTQ people by repeatedly making the same point or trying to shout down their point. By letting you disagree with me, I trust you to make your point succinctly (even though I can’t 😉 ) and leave people with different opinions and experiences room to have their voices heard.
  • Try to devalue people for not being “normal”.
  • Try to imply that accepting people who are different from yourself somehow devalues your own identity.
  • Dogwhistle with any of the above aims.3

1 Your f- words and sh- words and so on are fine, (I have no respect for useless social taboos regarding sex or defecation) but if you start talking about bitches or cunts, it better be because you’re a woman4 who’s repossessing those words in a positive sense. 🙂

2 Showing concern for people who aren’t straight male pakeha is not the same as not showing concern for straight male pakeha. Attacking discriminatory men/pakeha/straight people is not the same as attacking all men/pakeha/straight people. I expect anyone posting comments here to understand that distinction. I also expect you to understand that nobody gets by in New Zealand without showing some concern for at least one of those three groups. But we might ignore one, two, or even all three of those groups in some of our discussions here simply because not every topic concerns them directly.

3 Dogwhistling is where you try to disguise an offensive message in seemingly innocent, but metaphorically offensive, words, so that people are less likely to notice it. I’ve got some good experience at telling the difference between someone who unknowingly or accidentally dogwhistled and someone who hasn’t, so please don’t try to play games with me.

4 Until such time as men stop using words like “cunt” and “bitch” and “slut” in a negative sense, we really have to prove ourselves and get permission before we’re entitled to join in on reclaiming them.

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